IFS and the Inner Critic: Anxiety’s Protective Edge
If you’ve ever felt consumed by a harsh internal voice, constantly critiquing, doubting, or devaluing you, you’re not alone. Many people live with a powerful inner critic that seems to grow louder during moments of anxiety, stress, or vulnerability. And while this voice often feels like the enemy, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a different perspective: your inner critic might be trying to protect you.
At Tidal Trauma Centre, we help clients understand their inner worlds through a trauma-informed lens. What seems like relentless judgment is often a protective part of the psyche doing its best to prevent further harm.
What Is the Inner Critic? The inner critic is a common part we all carry, an internal voice that evaluates, warns, or scolds. It might say things like:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’re going to mess this up.”
“No one really likes you.”
While painful, these messages often stem from a deep desire to shield us from embarrassment, rejection, or shame. In IFS, we understand this voice as a protector, a part of us that believes criticism keeps us safe.
Why Anxiety and the Inner Critic Often Go Hand-in-Hand Anxiety is a signal that something feels unsafe, either internally or externally. When your nervous system is activated, your inner critic may jump in to restore control. Its tactics, harsh self-talk, perfectionism, withdrawal, are usually designed to preempt perceived threats.
For example, the critic may think:
“If I’m hard on you now, maybe no one else will be.”
“If I keep you small and careful, maybe you’ll be safe.”
While the strategy may have worked in the past, it can lead to increased stress, emotional exhaustion, and cycles of shame. Over time, this protective part may begin to dominate your inner world, especially when anxiety is high.
Learn more about anxiety therapy in Surrey.
IFS Therapy: A New Way to Relate to the Inner Critic IFS therapy helps you turn toward your inner critic with curiosity rather than resistance. Instead of trying to shut it down or silence it, we ask:
What is this part trying to prevent?
When did it first learn this strategy?
What might it be afraid would happen if it stopped criticizing?
Often, these parts developed in childhood or adolescence, times when external validation, emotional safety, or belonging were inconsistent. The critic formed a role that made sense in the context of your life story.
The Protective Logic of the Critic Your inner critic may have formed in response to:
Being shamed for expressing emotion or making mistakes
Growing up in high-pressure or achievement-based environments
Emotional neglect or instability at home
Social rejection, bullying, or exclusion
In these situations, the critic learned to preempt external judgment by turning inward. It believed: “If I stay ahead of the pain, maybe I can prevent it.”
In IFS, we help this part shift from a role of self-punishment to one of protection through collaboration. Over time, the critic may evolve into a part that offers discernment, clarity, or creative guidance instead of attack.
At Tidal Trauma Centre, we integrate IFS therapy with trauma-informed approaches such as EMDR, AEDP, and somatic therapy. We support clients in identifying inner patterns, building self-trust, and cultivating compassionate leadership from within.
Our work with the inner critic may include:
Mapping your internal system and identifying protective parts
Supporting the vulnerable, exiled parts the critic is trying to protect
Building capacity to stay present and grounded with difficult emotions
Creating space for your Self to lead, not from fear, but from care
You’re Not Weak for Having an Inner Critic Living with a loud inner critic doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means your system has been working hard to survive. Often, clients who carry powerful inner critics are also highly sensitive, deeply thoughtful, and attuned to the emotions of others. These are not weaknesses. They are evidence of how much you’ve navigated.
You may not need to fight your critic. You may just need to listen to it differently.
Ready to Change the Way You Relate to Yourself?
You don’t have to silence your critic, you just have to lead it. When your inner system is guided by compassion instead of fear, real transformation becomes possible.
Contact us or fill out a New Client Form to be matched with one or more of our therapists. If you’re ready, book a free consult or appointment.
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IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a trauma-informed therapy model that sees the mind as composed of multiple parts. It helps you understand and relate to these inner parts like the critic, the achiever, the caretaker, rather than fighting or suppressing them.
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Yes. IFS is especially helpful when anxiety is driven by inner conflict or harsh internal voices. By building a relationship with the critic, clients often experience more calm, clarity, and self-connection.
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No. Compassion is a process. IFS invites you to start with curiosity. Understanding a part’s role often softens resistance naturally over time.
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That’s very common. We offer integrative therapy that includes EMDR, somatic work, and IFS to help address both the roots and the protective patterns of trauma.
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Yes. We offer IFS therapy both in-person in Surrey, BC, and online across British Columbia.
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Disclaimer: The content on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for professional care. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment.